I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was a time of hope, a time of optimism, a time of exuberance, a time of youthful splendor. It was midnight, January 1st, 2020.
We hugged, we kissed, we celebrated endless possibilities. The glasses we toasted were half-full.
We were ready for a fresh start, ready to move on, ready to put the past behind us. We were eager for a new decade.
Sure, the 2010’s had their moments. But as the decade drew to a close, we were more like what was that all about? In a Tale of Two Decades, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”.
2019 in particular was kind of meh. The most exciting thing that happened involved a few millennial pioneers who promised us the exposure of Area 51’s secrets. In the end, all we got were some hilarious memes. A worthy consolation nonetheless.
We were more than ready to flip the calendar to 2020. Ready to open a book with blank pages, and ready for the opportunity to fill those pages with the stories of our best lives.
“New year, new me!” they said, “Bring on the Roarin’ 20’s!” they said. “I can’t wait to see what will happen in the new decade!” they said…….
How we feelin’ now, America??
Who would’ve guessed that, by March, we’d be quarantined in solitude and society would be teetering on the brink of collapse.
I think I speak for everyone when I say, hey @2020…if you could go ahead and stop trying to kill us, that’d be great.
Here’s a basic run-down of the ways 2020 has attempted to annihilate humanity thus far…
As soon as the year began, we were faced with the third installment of a global war.
The spark needed to ignite the tinderbox happened when the United States killed Qasem Soleimani, an Iranian Terrorist and one of the most dangerous men on the planet.
At first we were like “Yeah! ‘Merica!”, but a few talking heads in the media said it was a bad thing and then, all of a sudden, we were on the brink of World War 3. Most pundits agreed that Iran was sure to retaliate in full force, and our rebuttal would do anything but deescalate the situation.
Instead, Iran lobbed a few misguided missiles at U.S. bases in Iraq. Thankfully, casualties were at a minimum. For everyone’s sake, I won’t get into all the politics at play, but the situation kind of fizzled out.
Back on the home-front, our response was more than appropriate. Again, we made memes.
Dank memes are like warm blankets of humor that momentarily shield us from all the craziness happening in the world. Technically, memes don’t do anything to resolve a situation, but they’re cheaper than therapy.
Anyways, a week or two passed with no world war so most everyone forgot about it.
On to the next crisis….
We had yet to even breathe a sigh of relief from dodging World War 3 when we were notified that the entire continent of Australia had become engulfed in flames.
These were wildfires on a scale that we really haven’t seen before. In total, over 46 million acres were scorched, roughly the size of the entire state of Washington.
35 people lost their lives, nearly 6,000 buildings and homes were destroyed. Tragically, millions of animals died, including some endangered species that may have been driven to extinction.
The Australian wildfires started in late 2019 and reached their peak in late January/early February 2020 at the height of the Australian summer. The summer season had been abnormally dry, which enabled numerous small brush fires to spread like viruses across the continent.
Thankfully, the majority of the fires have been extinguished, but it will take many years for Australia to recover.
And speaking of viruses…..
While all this was going down, we were hearing faint whispers in the background about some kind of disease ravaging a city in China. We didn’t really pay attention to it at first. I mean, it was half a world away, and surely they’d squash it, right?
The virus continued to spread throughout China, into Japan and South Korea. Inevitably, it was coming to the United States.
We braced for impact, but the impact was more powerful than anything we could’ve braced for.
I know most of you are plugged-in and aware of the happenings, so I won’t get into the weeds of what all has transpired since our friend COVID-19 appeared stateside. But, to summarize….the entire country literally came to a screeching halt.
The stock market crashed, jobs are being lost, the economy is imploding. Sports were cancelled. Like all of them.
March Madness became March Sadness.
Social distancing is now a thing. People are hoarding food, hand sanitizer, and cleaning supplies. Apparently, excessive bowel movements have become an unanticipated side-effect, because Black Friday-esque fistfights are happening over toilet paper.
We’re fine. This is fine.
Personally, I think the mainstream media has blown this out of proportion, (see: You’re Going to be Exposed to the Coronavirus. So What?). The fear and anxiety that they’ve instilled in the majority of the population is far worse than the actual virus.
Regardless, its better to be proactive than reactive. I’m totally on board with social distancing. We all should be. The vast majority of us will be able to fully recover from COVID-19, but the virus is lethal for older adults and those who are immunocompromised.
Many people who have COVID-19 are asymptomatic, meaning they aren’t showing symptoms, but can still spread it to others. Staying home is the best course of action. We must all do our part to keep this thing from spreading and overwhelming our medical facilities. Basically, we need to prevent becoming Italy 2.0.
As the world grinds to a halt, this is the perfect time to take advantage of the opportunities you’ve been blessed with. Take a much-needed break from the world. Spend time with your family. Read that book. Complete that project you’ve been putting off. Or……make some memes!
Introverts everywhere are rejoicing. For the first time ever, we’re actually being told to stay on the couch and watch Netflix. Let’s not screw this up.
….And if you’re tired of meme-ing and Netflixing (shameless plug forthcoming), this is a great time to peruse our site. Hot Mess Anonymous is a hub of informative and entertaining content available at your fingertips 24/7. Just scroll through the categories, you’ll see there’s something here for everyone.
2020, you win.
To summarize 2020 so far: we were on the brink of global war, Australia burned, we got hit with a plague, sports were cancelled, the stock market crashed, society is on the brink of collapse, there’s no toilet paper…
…and dude, it’s MARCH!
What is happening?!?
These are unprecedented times, my friends. But, this is only temporary. Life will go on, and there will be many, many positives that come from this experience.
Enjoy the time off. Be thankful for the chance to unwind. This too shall pass. I promise.
Godspeed, my fellow humans.