Girls are interesting, aren’t they? Having a daughter is like a crazy, wild, joyful ride through life, that leaves you breathless and in awe. If you have more than one daughter, you also might realize that girls aren’t all the same, and none of them come with instruction manuals. If you’re a mother, (as opposed to a father), like me, you probably aren’t even sure you can always tap into your own resources as a female to handle all the various nuances of each of your daughters. Sometimes, we don’t even know what to tell our daughters when they come to us each day looking for guidance or love.
In this day and age, life is not as simple as it has been in the past. Not that life is – or ever was – simple. But there used to be a lot more black and white answers, a lot more common perceptions, whereas now there is a lot of gray, and a lot of room for misperception. Our daughters need so much more guidance than I think we even needed when we were young. (80’s child, here!) There is so much need for guidance, support and encouragement that just didn’t exist before. But, I think that no matter the age, no matter what generation, daughters have always needed to be told these five things, and often.
Tell your daughter often that she is loved
Your daughter needs to know that you love her. More importantly, she needs to know God loves her. She needs to hear it often, every day, even multiple times a day. I know that I have been slacking in this department myself. It’s not that I don’t love my daughters. I just assume they know, and don’t always think to say it as much as I probably should. I do say it, don’t get me wrong. But I know that they could stand to hear it much, much more.
It is most important to let them know that their Creator, God, loves them, too. Life has so much heartache because we are living in a fallen world. If we can remind them that no matter what, God loves them, it will help to soothe their pain, lift them up when they are down, remind them to keep close to Him. Any of us might wonder if God really loves us when bad times come our way, but if we have a constant, tangible reminder from the important people in our life, that helps tremendously.
Another thing you can tell your daughter is that she is special
I have five daughters. Each one is unique, and each one needs my love in a different way than the next. Each one has different needs in general, especially when it comes to keeping our connection. They each have different talents, different quirks, different personalities. They are each special. Highlighting what makes your daughter special will go a long way in helping her build her self-esteem. I am not recommending you build her pride. But praise your daughter for a job well-done here and there. Support and encourage her in her God-given talents, and let her know you are behind her 100%. These actions will aid in her ability to discern the worth God has given her. In turn, it will help her discern what she has to offer to the world.
Tell your daughter often that she has worth
God made us all with a value that is far beyond anything this world has to offer. We are more precious than diamonds or gold. We have a purpose in this world. Our daughters need to hear this! They need to know they were created with a plan, and that plan has a measure of value that is not defined by the trappings of this life. Telling her she has worth will help her to understand her place, and instill in her the drive to live her life to the fullest, and to constantly seek the right path.
Tell your daughter that she has super powers
A recent talk by a very holy man of God given to a group of girls ages 9-15 had a theme of how girls have super powers. But unlike the very feminist culture we have been immersed in these days, he did not highlight some skewed idea of what girls could or should be. He reminded them of their super powers such as compassion, kindness, and gentleness. These super powers, are inherent in all females. This isn’t to say men can’t be compassionate, gentle or kind. But inherently, females have these gifts- these super powers, and they are much better at using them. Girls just have a natural inclination toward them. They truly are super powers, as they are born from love, and love is the basis of all good things.
Your daughter is needed, and wanted
I need my daughters. They are so helpful to me, especially with the many health issues I face each day. They help with other children, chores, cooking, etc. But for more than these practical things, I need my daughters to remind me what my job is. Essentially, that is to be their mother. I can’t say I am always good at this job, what many refer to as a vocation. With God’s grace, however, and because He gave me these precious daughters, I move along from day to day, trying to do my job well.
I don’t just need my daughters, I want them, too. I can’t imagine my life without them. Each one gives me such joy. Their hearts are so beautiful, and I enjoy their presence, even if sometimes I fail in impressing that upon them. Girls need to know they are both needed, and wanted. Our daughters deserve to understand that their parents aren’t their parents by accident. They need to know we are grateful to have our daughters.
Whether you are able to tell your daughters these five things every day or just as often as you think of it, it matters not. As long as you tell them. Make it a point to tell them, not just by saying it with words, but with your actions as well. If you take the time to fill up their love tanks, you are empowering them to go out and fill up those of others. Telling them these things often, ensures that you’ll never leave them wanting, like thirsty sponges on the shoreline.