Most people intend for their marriages to last a lifetime. It doesn’t always work out that way. Spouses who decide to go their separate ways often encounter numerous challenges as they adapt to new lifestyles. Those who have children together must learn how to relate as co-parents. This post provides divorce tips for co-parents. Good parents want what’s best for their kids. If you and your ex disagree, you might lock horns from time to time.
Kids Take Their Cues from Their Parents
Children closely observe their parents’ behavior. Children of divorce tend to internalize their situations, often believing their parents’ break-up is their fault. You can help your children cope better by avoiding certain situations.
Three Divorce Tips for Co-parents Involving Speech
Perhaps you haven’t fully processed your negative emotions regarding past marital problems. Don’t let that negativity bring your kids down. If your priority is to help your children come to terms with the situation, you’ll want to steer clear of the issues included in the following list:
- Dissing your ex in front of your kids: You might have valid reasons for being upset or angry at your ex. If you speak negatively about a person your kids love, it can cause mixed emotions and confusion.
- Sharing more details than necessary: Your children need to know you’re getting divorced, as well as what that means. Beyond that, it’s never a good idea to give your kids the whole scoop regarding your break-up.
- Twisting the truth: Co-parenting is about children’s best interests, not making a co-parent look bad. Many parents make the mistake of falsely accusing a co-parent to gain the upper-hand in custody proceedings.
As a good parent, you don’t want your kids to grow up thinking it’s okay to lie when it’s to their own advantage. Custody proceedings can definitely be stressful and challenging, but the court doesn’t think favorably toward those who try to manipulate the system. Also, it’s best to keep adult matters between adults. If you and your ex have to have a conversation about your kids, do it in private.
Divorce Tips for Co-parents to Help Keep Stress Low
Divorce doesn’t necessarily have to destroy your family life although you and your children will experience changes, for sure. If co-parents are willing to cooperate and compromise for their kids’ sake, it’s possible to move on in life in an amicable fashion. These ideas might help:
- Respect each other: You’re no longer spouses but you have children together. It’s best to be verbally and demonstratively respectful of each other at all times.
- Post a schedule: You won’t have to fight about who gets the kids when, if you write out a schedule and stick to it. Better yet, submitting your co-parenting plan to the court for approval prompts a court order a judge can legally enforce, if needed.
- Let kids be with both parents sometimes: Demi Moore and Bruce Willis’s daughter, Rumer, often speaks publicly about appreciating her parents’ post-divorce behavior. She says they were willing to share birthdays and other special events, so she and her siblings never had to choose between parents.
You no longer live together or share an intimate relationship with your ex. You’ll always be connected, however, because of your kids. The best divorce tips for co-parents include keeping children’s best interests in mind. Remember, you and your co-parent are not enemies; you’re a team. If problems arise, try to resolve them peacefully and if that’s not possible, know where to turn for legal support.