In recent articles, we’ve covered a lot about what’s good for the body. It seems easy for us to accept that a few dietary changes and some supplements should get us on the path to restored health. However, this is rarely the case. The reason? We are spiritual beings with powerful thoughts that either hurt or help us. In my previous article, I wrote about the things I am doing (or trying to do!!) to get my mind in a healthier state. This is a daily challenge for me but I will keep plugging away at disciplining myself. In the meantime, I want to share with you some things you can do to help heal your heart.
As you may know by now, I have been hurt a lot in my life. I don’t compare myself or my life to others…I know that so many people have suffered insurmountable tragedies… I am grateful that this has not been my path. Yet, we all suffer to some extent and I’ve spent a large part of my adulthood trying to let go of it all: the pain, the resentment, the memories.
In my early adulthood, I was a young mother far away from home. I would talk to anyone and everyone who would listen about my life, my pain of living under the thumbs of non-supportive parents, my devastating lack of self-worth… Dr. Oz says that talking–even oversharing–is good for you.
As I tried to talk my way through my emotional pain, I cried. I cried a lot. I cried so much that I knew my tear ducts needed a break. In this article, we can see that there are a variety of reasons why crying is good for us. I could feel some inner relief when I talked and cried, but I never quite felt the release from the issues and memories that were causing me pain.
As I got a little older, I realized that I had talked my Pain Topics to death–and worse, I was burdening friends with the same dramatic stories over and over again. I realized that 1) I did not want to burden my friends continually with the same sad stories and 2) all the talking and crying I was doing was not helping me to ‘get over it’.
I spent my 30s reading–and I hate to phrase it like this because it sounds so hokey–self help books. My favorite of that time was The Four Agreements. I read a few Christian books and they helped somewhat, but The Four Agreements gave me a new perspective. The agreement I remember most was to not take things personally–good or bad. If someone is shooting you the bird in traffic, don’t take it personally. If someone congratulates you for a job well done, don’t take it personally. I understand that agreement to mean that our power must come from within and we can’t let someone take it away from us, either by shooting us birds or complimenting us. Still, I’d like to make it clear that although that one agreement helped me to change my perspective about how others interact with me, I still appreciate your compliments and I try to be complimentary as well. I love people and find it important to let those around me know that I appreciate them.
In my next segment, I will share the two tools I found to be the best at releasing much of my emotional worries and upsets. See you then!
CJ Heath is a just a regular person trying to wade through life. She remembers someone telling her once that “You can’t move forward if you keep looking behind…” and she has been using the past few decades to try to only move forward.