I love my Boy. When he was first born, he had two older sisters. The eldest especially doted on him. He preferred her to me, which I used to my advantage (“Rock him to sleep while I do some laundry!!”). Before he turned one, I could see that he was a bit rough and would one day turn into a “Man’s Man”. I felt pride in this, thinking he was going to be rough, tough and somehow street-smart, even though we were raising him in the ‘burbs.
Then at 22 months, he became a Big Brother to his best friend, my Baby Girl. Things began to change in him and he went from being a bruiser to saying, “Oh, cool” when my girlfriend’s four year old daughter received a tea set as a birthday present.
He started wearing glasses and crossing his legs at the knees when he read books. He now emotes easily when watching an emotional scene during a cartoon. One particular poignant memory for me is one that is seared on my heart: his first good-bye to friends as we were leaving Germany. He knew we were getting ready to leave and he didn’t want his friends to see him crying. So he walked onto the balcony, hands in his pockets, looking sad and thoughtful. He did not want me to comfort him, and I understood that if I had, the tears would free-fall in front of everyone. He was only 7 then.
I see now that my son is emotional…more so than his sisters sometimes. I laugh, but mean it when I say that my son is a “Gentleman and a Scholar”. I’m really proud of this.
The fact that he is a different boy now than what I thought he was going to be is, well, kinda wonderful. I see his sweet face in my mind when I think about how thoughtful and sensitive he is. I feel no shame at all whatsoever when I realize he’s not going to be that “Man’s Man” I thought he was going to be. What does that even mean, anyway?
I’ve come to understand that he’s growing into a loving person–a gentle, sweet, funny person. I love that instead of rough-housing and yelling, he’s my Kleenex buddy. When a sad scene plays onscreen, we hold each other’s hands, cry (sometimes loudly) and offer each other tissues.
So, no…I don’t think my son is too sensitive. I think he’s just right. It takes all kind of people to make this Blue Dot turn and I’m glad we’re a small part of it.
CJ Heath loves learning from her children. They are great teachers and thankfully, are patient enough to wait on me while I figure things out 😉