I recently read a Facebook post highlighting some ACTUAL complaints made by tourists traveling the world. Here’s what I want to know, HOW do people this stupid afford international travel?
Here’s what I read:
1. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very
distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”
2. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”
3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”
4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”
5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”
6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”
7. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”
8. “No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”
9. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”
10. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
11. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”
12. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”
13. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”
14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”
15. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”
16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”
17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”
19. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
This post made me wonder how often this kind of thing happens, so I went online and discovered that it only takes about 13 seconds to find a whole lot of stupid travelers. Here are a few more gems I dug up during my “research.”
I hope these people don’t procreate:
Put Them In The Hot Seat
(I always like to follow up after a trip I have booked for a customer. A couple had booked a plane flight to Florida, a small rental car, and a few nights hotel on the beach.)
Me: “Hi, Mrs. [Name]. This is [My Name] calling from [Travel Agency]. I just wanted to make sure you had a wonderful time on your trip.”
Wife: “You’ll have to speak with my husband. I’m too upset to speak with you.”
Husband: “I can’t believe you have the courage to call, after what you did. I’ve dealt with incompetence before, but you are the worst!”
Me: “I’m so sorry. What happened?”
Husband: “When I booked the flight, I told you that I wanted an aisle seat, and my wife preferred a window seat. You had us backwards on all four flights!”
Me: “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just swap seats? Or, say something to a flight attendant, who would have told you to just swap seats?”
Husband: “…” *click*
And finally, a few more…
-
One hotel received a complaint about their advertised ‘homey feel’: it was apparently nothing at all like the guest’s home.
Here’s hoping they also don’t think the “continental breakfast” requires a trip around the world. -
2 “My husband got carsick on the boat”
I’m no medical professional, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works. -
3 “I packed for a mountaineering holiday, and couldn’t believe no one told me that there wouldn’t be snow. I had to go out and buy new clothes.”
Spoiler alert: we hear the air gets pretty thin when you climb mountains. Might want to pick up an oxygen tank or two. -
4 “I spent a whole week on safari, and didn’t see any good animals. There was only a load of antelopes.”
To be fair, the antelopes probably only saw one lousy tourist. -
5 “You said the town was next to a volcano, but we went and there was no lava. I’m pretty sure it was just a mountain.”
You’re probably right. But just to make sure, you should climb up and jump inside to find out for yourself. -
6 “We booked the honeymoon suite, and in the [bathroom] there were 2 toilets side by side. With no walls separating them! There is nothing at all romantic about that.”
It’s called a “bidet” -
7 “The animals at the zoo looked very sad and it made our children cry. Can’t they train them to smile?”
Right away sir. While we’re at it, would you like us to train them to wash your dishes and pick up your dry cleaning? -
8 “There was no sign telling you that you shouldn’t get on the hot air balloon ride if you’re afraid of heights.”
FYI: There’s also no sign at beaches saying you shouldn’t go near the water if you’re afraid of drowning. -
9 “The local women were too beautiful; it made me feel bad about myself.”
Friend, you just redefined the term “first-world problem.” -
10 A man claimed that he was no longer able to perform sexually after a chambermaid walked in on he and his wife making love and “giggled at his size” while leaving the room.
No, sir. She was laughing with you because it’s funny when people forget to use the “do not disturb” door hanger. -
11 “The street signs weren’t in English. I don’t understand how anyone can get around.”
Maybe it’s because — and this a BIG maybe here — they don’t speak English there? -
12 “The beach had too many fat people. It was gross.”
That’s probably because you went to the wrong beach. You want the special beach reserved for “uptight, shallow jerks”. -
13 “We could not enjoy the tour as our guide was too ugly. You can’t be expected to admire a beautiful view when you’re staring at a face like his.”
Pro Tip: Stay home. The world needs fewer people like you. -
14 “We went to a Mexican restaurant in Rome and the waiter was Italian. You assured us Italy was the best place for an authentic food experience.”
Didn’t you hear? Italy’s embracing the local food movement; even restaurant staff are locally source and hand-picked by owners now. -
15 “You told us that there was a rooftop pool, but above us was just another room.”
Excuse us for a second, we need to go bang our head on a wall. -
16 “Our flight left Heathrow at 07:55, and they told us the flight was 2 hours. But when we landed it was 10:55, making us miss our connection. The pilot didn’t even tell us we were delayed.”
They still teach the concept of “different time zones” in school right? -
17 After being told she could reach the front desk by dialling 9, a lady complained when she was repeatedly unable to do so from her mobile.
All together now! -
18 A man sent a complaint to Disney World claiming that it was “too touristy.”
Shhhh. No one tell him about Disneyland…
