Truth: I Don’t Know How to Dress Myself

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Okay, I admit it…I seriously don’t know how to dress with any fashion sense whatsoever. You know that toddler who just grabs a shirt to pull over her head, along with stained shorts and some mismatched socks? That’s me. I’m one bad outfit away from being a Person of Walmart–and I know you know what I mean.

Fifteen years ago, I told myself when I lost the baby weight, I would overhaul my closet and become a Fashion Diva. I had two more babies in that decade and a half and instead of losing weight, I have been gaining with fervor. Now that I’m size chunky, it’s harder than ever to pull an outfit together that doesn’t make my self esteem drop through the floor like an Acme weight on its way to China.

I have 1,000 issues that cause fatigue and weight gain, and I have come to accept that I may die as size chunky. With this begrudging realization, I know I’m in desperate need of a wardrobe to accommodate those bulges and bumps and sags that have seemed to take permanent residence on my body (*sigh*). So where do I start? Let’s see what Google revealed after I typed, “How to dress” in the search bar…

  1. How to dress for your body shapeAt first, it seems promising, but the pics are of thin celebrities…next.
  2. How to dress yourself thinThis is definitely more promising with tips/tricks that I find helpful.
  3. How to dress fashionablyThis seems to have some good tips, though the models are once again impossibly thin.
  4. How can I learn to dress betterMore good tips when you need to start at Ground Zero, like me.
  5. How to dress at 40Oh, crap. We’ll address the age thing later. For now, the links seem promising.

After typing, “how to dress up if you’re overweight”:

  1. How to dress when you are fatThe tips seem good, but the people are cartoons so it’s hard to tell what their fashion advice would look like on a real body.
  2. Fashionable Fat Girl (on Pinterest): Lots of promising visuals…Now I’m feeling hopeful!

To add insult to injury, I’m petite and overweight…I won’t even bother posting the links that came up when I typed that into the search bar. Still, I think I feel a bit more confident looking for clothes now. It’s intimidating to think about trying on clothes and rejecting what I see in the mirror, but we have to go through a few toads to find the prince of outfits, right? When I muster the courage and actually do some shopping, I’ll post a follow up blog…maybe even with pics!

Writer Bio

CJ Heath is a fashion fool…she loves fashion–on other people. If you have some helpful links, comment and let her know! She knows she needs all the help she can get.


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