I am back, my Lord. Like Moses, I stand on my own Mount Nebo today. Behind me, I see the backroad taken by 2020, with all its surprises. Looking ahead, I catch a glimmer of the what-will-it-bring road of 2021. I am aware that, just like with Moses, You are here, God, right next to me. You make sure I remember who walked the 2020 road with me and who will be my guide as I head into 2021.
And wasn’t it a potholed road? Eighteen months ago, who among us would have thought that our safe, predictable existence could be changed as quickly and drastically as it did. Before we knew it, we were in a lonely, distant fear-driven world. We were anxious about the unknown that might await us when next the sun rises.
God caught us asleep
Now I know, my Lord, that You caught us asleep, accustomed to our lackadaisical lives. So busy listening to peoples’ voices that we missed Your whispers. We became entangled in our small-world politics and matters that are unimportant in Your eyes. Essentially, we were too busy to make time to seek Your guidance. We were busy Lord, each one of us, with our survival battles, to keep our heads above the water and food on our tables.
And then? You came and pulled that comfort rug right from under our feet. In the blink of an eye, You rid us of our diligence, securities, drive, health and a whole lot more of what we have taken for granted. I understand that this is Your way to get our undivided attention, similar to the way You did with Moses and his people. You used snakes, diseases, starvation and drought to remind them who was in power.
Who takes care of us, God or our bank accounts?
You came to teach us that we will be there one moment and gone the next like the grass in the field. We needed reminding of the fact that we will not be here forever. Furthermore, our bank balances will not prevent illnesses. By kicking out the crutches that hold us up, You came to show us not to rely on imaginary supports. In like manner, You made us regret the thousands of dollars we spend on our own pleasure while so many people around us have no food and no shelter.
Most importantly, pulling up our handbrakes brought You close to us again. It reminded us that You are ever-present, and not only in the church where some of us meet up with You once a week. Similarly, You pointed out that the “good deeds” we do to ease our guilt do not impress You at all.
Even in affluence, we need God
Once again, we became aware that we don’t need anything or anybody to make us hear Your heartbeat inside each and every one of us. You came to ask the questions: “Do You know me, and do I know You?” After all, that is what it is all about. Likewise, we remember Your promise to take care of all the needs of those who know and honor You.
Lord, we must confess to living so self-sufficiently that we began to believe we no longer need You! We treated You like a spare wheel to bring out only when we are desperate. Then we expect You to make everything right again. Lord, PLEASE FORGIVE US.
2020 was God’s way to shock us back to reality
Lord, I thank You for 2020, despite the challenges it presented. I thank You because it was Your way to show me the way back to You, and You even led me down the road. You took the veil that blinded me from my eyes and made me understand that everything I own can be taken from me. However, No one can pull me away from You. As I stand on my Mount Nebo, I realize that Your grace brought me here, my Lord; you held my hand and even carried me at times. You never gave up on me, and I am embarrassed to say that I was not as loyal to You.
You are capable of loving me regardless and despite any of my wrongdoings. Therefore, my Lord, I ask You today to teach me how to love unconditionally in 2021. I look back and close the gate to 2020, and thank You for Your LOVE, POWER AND GRACE. Like the Apostle Peter, I want to say: “ Lord, You have knowledge of all things; You see that You are dear to me.” When we take up this conversation tomorrow, I will ask You to help me look ahead into 2021 and not turn around to look at the closed gate of 2020. Amen.